first rant..

not trying to say that i'll have subsequent rants..

however, Maureen is feeling down.. real down.. i dono what went over Maureen but jus bout 2 hrs ago she felt really down.. She has never felt that stressful before.. the feeling was overwhelming.. thanks to mai who made her felt better.. after that entertaining Chira Rizumu dance.. haha.. i wonder if that feeling was accumulated over the whole day.. partially due to her dad's bad temper maybe? then i guess its bout cal ruining her mood.. then brenda.. then when she chatted with star and erica and foofeh she really felt very stress.. while mai was by her side.. she totally seen how stress Maureen was.. even she got a bit worried.. sorry bout that!^^ gomen ne! (juliet).. i can joke now..

maybe its cuz she felt that she's not completing anything.. or was it because of the cranky internet connection which made star misunderstood her? or that email star sent? or the words that erica said? or what grace had said when she called her? how brenda felt when she cant solve her problem properly.. how bad she was to cal when he called to ask her to call him back.. how her dad and herself have never seen each other's faces the whole day till now..

argh.. the down feeling is going back to her again..

will everything get better eventually? Maureen hates herself for acting happy in front of ppl when she was actually feeling down.. but nobody knows a down Maureen isnt it? "how down can Maureen be?" "she will def get over it soon!" she had heard these words too many times.. ahhhhhh.. she shld go and read that translations for that seventeen yamapi's interview.. then maybe she can be the Maureen whom everyone knows.. really, not many ppl had seen her breaking down.. or had her even broken down before? maybe not to the extreme.. jus what is breaking down anyway? can anybody explain to me? hmmm?

i never knew she can be so pessimistic.. will i feel better after this rant? i bet not.. i need time to recover.. not very long, but it does depends..

suddenly she feels like she was not doing her part as Maureen.. she shld always be there when somebody needs help from her isnt it? but she was not today.. she hid herself today.. and that makes her feel bad.. she felt that she had let everyone down.. for not doing her job well..

the sun rises everyday no matter what happened, everything will just be as fine!