Failure

Whatever that is, I am.

Nothing's gonna change unless I change.

"You lose some, you gain some".

I know what I'm losing, but I don't know what exactly am I gaining.

Whatever the title is, I was, and I probably am.

...

updates

Well, because I haven't been updating, I shall update now. But seriously, I think I had 2 tiring weeks before this week. I want to rest soon, tired.

-Last 2 weeks had been holiday weeks, sales' crazy and we worked like bulldozers.

-I was back from Japan if you haven't known yet.

Can't think of anything else to type. But anyway, after these 2 weeks, I'll have more challenges to face and all. Most importantly, I think I'll be more exhausted than ever.

This is really the latest news and I only got to know it hours ago.

I'll be promoted with a pay rise.

Yeah.

But scary, and stressful.

What if I'm not competent?

Argh!

Anyway, good luck to myself.

And I love Pi~

Lastly, all JE fans who might come across this post, please take a look at this link about a project I'm holding now. Thanks!

Last Night

My last night in Japan, Tokyo, Asakusa. To be frank, my mind is blank now. I don't know what to think. It has been like this since Pi's concert ended. It's like I have no aim now. I guess this feeling is temporary.

Somehow I feel hollow, sad and all. It's like everything is coming to an end, and I have so much which I've not done or tried. But having this trip is like a learning journey for me. I learnt so much and I believe the next time I'm in Japan I'll definitely be able to enjoy more.

Ahhh. I miss Pi already. Hurry up Code Blue 2!!!

By the way, I bought an amazing amount of food back. OOPS~

NTT DoCoMo

Yeah, my service provider here in Japan?

:)

3rd to 5th nights in Tokyo

I didn't sleep much. Except the 4th which I slept like a log and refuse to wake up till the last minute just so I could rush for the concert.

The concert was great but I shan't say much here. It's all fangirling and if you wish to know more ask me instead~ I'll be glad to provide you with details~! *laughs*

Now it's late in the morning yet I'm still not asleep. The night before I only had like 3 hours of sleep? Now I'm ready to go off, just slight update in case you all wondered what I've done. Well, it's concert day anyway, so I was busy watching concerts~ *laughs*

I LOVE YOU PI!

The end! Shall walk around Asakusa and Ueno tomorrow I think? When I wake up fully though. *laughs* Nite everyone!!

2nd night in Tokyo

Watched Massu's stageplay!! Oh my goodness! I have to jot down all the high points!!

-ran along the streets because we were late

-play already started when we went in

-first Massu scene seen - "samui~~~~!"

The play is about, Massu and a female friend got to this place and was asked to stay in that inn because they need money. So they stayed but due to some misleading informations and "unexplained" encounters each misunderstood the other's intention. The people in the inn thought that Massu and gang wanted to commit suicide while Massu thought the people in inn intent to murder them. It was all funny!

-funny ojisan who can't see without specs

-coward Massu

-"HELL" "GOTO" "message!" "GOTO HELL! GOTO HELL!" (the girl wore the inn's shirt, it was supposed to be "HELLO" on the front but it was HELL instead. So Massu screamed when he saw that word. Then the girl turned and Massu saw the word "goto" which was some name? Haha..)

-Massu imagining things

-Onigokko

-Blue shirt man keeps climbing through the window, hung on the window and dropped down, "tasukete!"

-3 rounds of thanking and 1 final thank + Massu & Blue flowery shirt guy no fly kissu!! :)

Massu!!!

I'm tired, so I shall stop here.

2nd Morning in Tokyo

Ohayou gozaimasu! My first day has ended and I'm on the second day already! *looks at countdown timer* Less than 1 day will be the concert day! Partly cloudy it said but better than yesterday. It was raining the whole day and it was FREEZING COLD.

I shall write about my first plane flight another time. So I reached the airport, I think i struggled so much with my luggage. Then the train station has staircases everywhere~ I continued to struggle. At first when I reached it wasn't raining, so I thought the weather was good. But when it rained, it was freezing and my feet were numb as they were wet by the rain.

I went to a few places. But the first thing was, I received a shocking news from Aggie when I saw her. Pi's single was sold out the day before I reached and so were many other things. I was so depressed when I knew it. Then we set off for a bookstore area, and I started buying things and also things that friends asked me to get. Then I got to a place, and I got my first Pi CD. All other versions were sold out and I was sad actually. Then we walked to Tokyo Dome and on the way there we got food from Lawson.

We reached Tokyo Dome but I was colder than ever. We ate, looked around and went for Meiji University. But we took a wrong way and we had to walk for a longer distance. Then our last place of interest was Akihabara. It was full of anime goods and game arcade and maid cafe~ *laughs* I think I love that place. Then we took Purikura and I played 1 arcade game. Then we were about to leave when we heard "Ichibu to Zenbu" by B'z and we ran to that shop. It was a CD shop and Aggie found Pi's CD! Then we found NEWS DVD LE at a lower price which I thought might be a second hand good. But turned out it was new and all!

I got myself 2 Loveless LE A, 2 Loveless LE B, 1 NEWS DVD Diamond LE, 2 Tegomass no Uta (LE/RE), 2 Tegomass Tanabata Matsuri (LE/RE). I think I spent a bomb.

We went back Hostel, had dinner and slacked around. Then my friend suggested going to a place to spot idol, which I thought of giving a try.. But I probably won't enter such a place in the near future unless I have to. It's a night club.

Therefore I only got about 3 hours of sleep. Later, we'll be going to Ueno and Asakusa for sight-seeing and all. Then we have Massu's stageplay. Stay awake Mao!

And I've having a runny blocked nose now. But the weather is so PRETTY today!!! Shall get out later and have fun!! :)

5 days to go!

It has been almost a month since my last entry. During which, I have done almost nothing to prepare for my trip. *ashamed* But not really. Today, I'll have to prepare my list of items to bring over to Japan which I'll be packing tomorrow. I also need to visit the bank to withdraw money. Then to the money changer.

I'm not prepared. I think.

I think I shall panic tomorrow. For now, I shall treat as if everything is on track. *laughs*

Japan!!

My progress

Air ticket - Bought!

Passport - Made!

Accommodation - Booked!

Winter coat - Pretty! (Bought)

With all these, I've already spent my first K in my bank account. Now what's left is for concert tickets, and my shopping + living in Japan~ :)

泣かないで

I'm acting like child. I've not grown up at all. I'm still childish, insensitive, idiot. A moron.

Why do I have to care so much?

Argh.

It's just a mooncake. It's not the money but the thoughts.

Short Update

Booked my tickets to Japan, ANA.

Booked the hostel that I'll be staying in Japan.

Going to make passport tomorrow..

Coming Saturday's going to be someone's birthday, hope that things will go smoothly that day.

Frankly I'm praying that things will go the GOOD way.

Mao's going to Japan!

Yeah! Isn't that a great news?! I'm finally set to go Japan! A short trip, but I'll definitely ensure that I go for it! :)

Because, Pi's going to have his solo concert! Yeah!

And the countdown timer I have on the right? I have it since I started work, because I thought I wanted to end my job on a certain date. In the end, that date is the first day of Pi's concert. Isn't that too much a coincidence?!

I love how fate plays tricks on you, yet it rewards you with miracles.

I love you fate.

I love you Pi!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Japan, here I come!!

Blogger has problem again

Or is it my browser?

Anyway, just a short post but I wanna talk about the transition in my feelings.

Somehow, I worked in Cine, and I started to like that place, and I got to transfer to Bugis. Then when I like Bugis, and didn't want to leave, I had to go back to Cine. And when I adapted to Cine and liked Cine again, I was transferred back to Bugis.

Now I don't understand. Just which place do I like? Or does it have got to do with the people?

But deep inside I think, I really love the people in Bugis. So I shall stay loyal to Bugis.

:)

Happy day ahead I hope!!

Well, today did not start well I think. I missed my last train. The last bus ditched me. I took a taxi and was involved in a minor car accident. But thank goodness I wasn't hurt and my dad came to fetch me. On the expressway.

DANGEROUS.

So conclusion?

It's all for a better day later. When I wake up. So I shall sleep now.

lost

Why do I feel that I'm no longer myself?

Gosh

I think I'm loving the people in Shokudo too much. I stayed back too many days already. I shall sleep now. Just wanted to blog on the fact that I find myself loving the people in Shokudo too much.

I'm in a hyper mode now

Well, sep is coming, but that's not the reason why.

I watched BB on KHTV yesterday but due to the poor reception I only got some glimpse of the ending, though I saw what happened. Right now I've just finished and wow, I love how aggressive Naoki is. Woo! *laughs* Great Acting Pi!!! :)

I have many thoughts running in my head but I don't know how to pen them down. I've decided, I want to go back to my old self already. Somehow I'm tired of being.. I don't know. I feel that I'm taking things for granted, AGAIN. I thought too highly of myself. I'm just a nobody. I'm not someone indispensable. I'm not sure if I can be that firm when I see everyone tomorrow but, I want to try. I want to bring that distance back again. Somehow shortening the distance between everyone makes me feel uncomfortable now. Because it feels like I'm faking too much.

I don't know what to do now. I feel like a hypocrite. I know I meant it when I say "thanks", but when I use it so frequently, it doesn't mean anything anymore. To the state where I doubt myself whenever the word comes out from my mouth. Every time I say "thanks", I question myself right after, if I really meant it.

I'm really being doted by them too much. I have to know my limits.

But even though I've said so much above, I still miss them and I want to chat with them so much. It's that kind of feeling whereby you feel that someone treats you as a person who is more than just someone unimportant in their lives. I don't know if I made sense in my previous sentence. Probably I'm just feeling lonely now. I just need some attention on myself.

I'm a little amazed at how at one moment I was so hyper about Pi's acting yet the other moment I'm so down.