Some soul searching

Well, I have not fully cleaned my room yet, which I'm planning to do right after my attachment ended. So I'm going to put full force in cleaning it, starting from MONDAY~ *laughs* And my parcels are coming in batches, probably 6 batches, 2 coming in 2 days time, so more reasons to clean my room. Tomorrow is my usual Japanese day, so I shall let tomorrow free of nothing. (And face a messy room at the end of the day~ -_-||)

Then more soul searching, which is job hunting in fact. Once my room gets cleaned, I have to look for jobs. My ideal starting date was mid March, but suddenly I have the feeling of pushing it to April, in fact, I was thinking, probably after I got my cert? *laughs* Procrastinator~ Well because, if I were to go for the graduation ceremony, I need to have a free day don't I? I'm planning on taking a full time permanent job actually, so taking a leave after commencing job only for a while seems bad isn't it? Well, I hope I get some good job. Shall start job hunting soon! (By the way, I'm actually quitting the thoughts of entering Uni, because of some reasons~)

You know what? I better lead those lives of those millionaires, like how I'm not that educated but Goddess of Luck happen to take a liking of me and I'll open some big companies or something when I get older~ *laughs* AS IF IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN.

*soul searching*

Okay, I am not going to lead those lives so I have to work hard and put in more efforts~ (Honestly speaking, I wish I led those lives, millionaires' lives~) Okay, I'll quit day dreaming.

But most importantly, I'm going to soul search on my biasness, my blatant bianess for Korean related things. In fact, I'm ashamed for disliking almost every single Korean thing. That fish rice from North Point Food Court was probably the only Korean thing I liked. Used to like. Because the serving became so small that it looked miserable. And to be frank, I always get so turned off whenever Mai talks about some Korean stuff she watched or she heard or she whatever. I should feel ashame for that too. Argh, I hate myself somehow now.

I wonder what happened to me. I bet it is those over-exaggeration on how Korean stars and all are too good and I totally get turned off. Or it must be the over-publicising of Korean dramas by Mediacorp. I went Poh Kim that day and happened to see a drama which was aired on Channel U I guess. A doctor drama. I saw how the doctor was trying to save the patient, and he was doing CPR on that patient. But the first thing I thought was, "Code Blue is better.". Then I went on thinking, "Code Blue is so much better. You look so fake. You're killing the person instead. Oh my, this whole show looks so fake. I hate everything of this show.". The end. I totally detest this show in the end.

Then I told Mai, because she told me she was watching Code Blue recently. I was happy of course, but it has come to the stage where I don't force her anything about NEWS anymore. So I merely asked what she thought about Code Blue, and how come she thought Code Blue was nice. So she explained a little, that little in fact. Which I was thinking, "okay, at least it caught your attention finally.". Then she said she watched another Korean drama, which happened to be that Ch U drama I detest. So I asked how was it, and she told me how she was crying to one scene where someone's nose was already injured but had to suffer from some punch by some other doctors. It was a drama about the politics in a hospital by the way. But I don't really care now.

I further got turned off by Mai when she said she listened to Big Bang. Argh. I don't know. I just hated the fact that Mai went over to Korean side somehow. Or probably, I was just feeling lonely.

I have no one to fangirl NEWS anymore. Seriously. No one. When I felt something, I have no one to turn to. Somehow I've become a lonely fangirl. Hahaha.

Although NEWS made me happy, but I have no one to share my joy to, because no one can understand my joy. So why should I tell someone who doesn't even care? I may have online friends, but I can only chat with them only when they are online. Especially my overseas friends whom I can only contact through emails and all. I want to fangirl, but I felt so lonely fangirling to myself and only emails or blogs at times. I want some immediate reactions too. I want to see reactions too.

Probably, I didn't have proper fangirling of NEWS all these whiles. Previously, I probably wasn't fangirling properly, because all I focused was on Pi and his looks or actions or whatsoever. Now I want to properly fangirl on their voices, their interactions and all, but no one to share with.

I don't know. I'm lost now. By what I've typed.

I should just stop here.

Headphones!

Audio Technica ATH-FW5

I want a new headphone/earphone!! Isn't the above a beauty?! The white ones!! Oh my~! Now I've set my eyes on this brand, Audio Technica!! If it's cheaper to buy over at Amazon, I will!!

*Loves*

By the way, probably not this model yet, I'll research more and more! Yeah! New headphones, here I come! (Forget about creative, TSK.)

Not really in a good mood

That's why I'm posting? But probably not here, so.

Forgot to add on that I had a fall on 31 Jan and sprained my ankle.
And...
Some people are giving me problems now, argh.
First time ever I felt that people are so uncooperative.
Please, pay up if the deadline is already nearing.
Argh, damn JE calendars mass ordering.
Why should I help these people who are so uncooperative?
I hate myself.

RAINBOW

This picture I took today could probably portray all the feelings I had today and I'm having now? Well, before this picture was taken, there were storms and downpours, which was similar to what I was experiencing. Then finally, the rain stopped and there was a rainbow, which showed that all the bad things or emotions were coming to an end and there is a brighter future. However, behind this rainbow, there were dark clouds. So generally, even though it seems that problems or woes have been solved or were all gone, there are still more troubles to come and more things to be worried of and everything doesn't seem as perfect as it is like the rainbow.

The only happy thing?

I woke up to 5566 songs today, no longer A-Mei's songs.
龙之传奇演唱会

soon

Soon everyone will be going in separated ways, can't help but feel a little sad.
Is that how things are going to end?

One Month

It has been a month since I've last updated, and within a month, so many things could have happened and happened.

Renfu got married, and held his wedding again in Taiwan just last Saturday. Seeing them happily ever after made me so happy and fortunate to have supported him. Jia you Ren Fu!

FYP ended, just yesterday, and I was a little sad having to leave the company. Because indeed I've enjoyed during my 6-mth stay in the company. I hope everyone all the best, and to myself as well.

I received my first Valentines' Day chocolates, but good thing doesn't last I guess?

Japanese I2 results was released last week, and I got my first full mark for oral, good news I guess?

I have not paid attention to NEWS for the past one month, not that there were many news for me to catch up with.

I'm feeling stress somehow, I don't like this.

Chinese New Year was an enjoyable one, but I'm worried for my Grandmother. I shall visit her this coming week.

Nothing much to say I guess..

Ganbatte/Jia You/Work Hard everyone~

Being happy

Yeah~ A short update!^^ Or rather, a little about my feelings now, before I go on with my work~^^

Being happy is a special thing. I thought it is really amazing to feel happy constantly~ And I thank all those incidents and everything that gives me happiness. The most amazing thing is, I get my happiness from others too! When someone around me feels happy, I feel happy too! For the person and for myself~^^ (I just wanted to post how I'm feeling happy now because of my friend~^^ You know who you are!!)

So start influencing your people, feel happy and pass the happiness around!

Stay Happy Always!

PS: Congrats, and I wish the two of you happiness too!! Through ups and downs you two must stay strong ok! And I hope this will last long for both of you~^^

Wishes from Mao~

Rollar Coaster Ride

Are my dreams shattered?

Please don't shatter my dreams...

I must stay strong.

After waking up

Everything that happened last night seems like a dream to me, unreal. The passion remains, the desire remains, with me. But I'm starting to doubt on myself, on the feasibility and all uncertainties.

"No dream is too big."

I should always remember this line. Frankly, these few posts are just some personal struggles which I always go through. Ignore them. *laughs*

Before everything, the road was blurred. Now that it has cleared up, I'm giving second thoughts to it. I wonder if I have what it takes to walk down the road I've chosen. If I failed halfway, I wonder if I can pick myself up again.

Back to work~ (because I'm affected by rumours now~)

Crazy

You know, it is really crazy that I've set my goals in such a short time. And I want to work towards it. I will work towards it. I hope my dad can give me his support too. I shall discuss with him again~

(You can't imagine how excited I'm feeling right now and I totally can't sleep at all despite the lack of sleep these past few days~)

I wonder what the future holds for me.

I have a dream

"It's a craze."

"You know, I thought of the song when I typed the title out."

I don't know which one of the above should I start my entry with. But I'm sure, both are related to my entry today. My computer is giving me problem by the way, because of the virus most probably? Or probably not? Who knows. But never mind, I'm going to continue on with my entry.

I have a dream. I have a dream. I have a dream!! After living my life for almost 20 years, I have a dream now! I want to realise my dream! I know what I want to do and what to be! This is like the first time I'm so sure of what route I want to take, what future I want, and decide for myself. 

Everything seems so crazy to me, because everything seemed so impossible, yet possible. I want to realise my dream in the shortest time I can. This feels so crazy, because everything came to me suddenly. I can't believe I'm so excited and I'm going to touch something I thought I hate.

I hope I do realise my dream. 

Everyone, please work hard towards your dreams!

I'm so depressed...

...that I suspect that I might get depression anytime soon. I really hate viruses. Computers' I mean. Infecting my body (the real virus I mean now~) is one thing. Infecting my computer/laptop (Computers' viruses, worms and all those~) is another thing. Both I don't wish having, but if I was to choose, I would choose the former probably. Even though I might die from it? I wonder. 

Ahhhhhh.. I think I'm getting too addicted into internet somehow, which is not good. I can't live a few days without my laptop and internet connection. A few days. I can live a day or two without it, but not more than that~ And having a virus (NOW!!) in my laptop is giving me a hard time. I'm so worrying for it!!! Both my precious laptops are so precious to me!! They are my treasures!! 宝物！！！I had to use Kanji somehow, *laughs* since "Happy Birthday" is playing~

I wish all the best for both my laptops, and I'm going to start all the backing up thing before I do anything to my com. I hope the virus stays dormant or something. Don't harm my com and files!!!! My poor laptop, please recover ok!!

I hope those people who invent these viruses can do something better.. Argh.. I really hate getting virus!! This is like the third time? First time I admit, I was dumb enough to open a spam mail. Second time I admit, I was dumb enough to accept a zipped picture file from someone I'm not close with in my class. But third time?!! How unlucky am I to get infected 3 times? And I should consider this a fourth time, since BOTH my laptop are infected~ (Most likely, since I have not checked my XP. But I have 99% confidence that it is infected. And I hate such confidence!!!)

Please pray for both my computers if you have the heart to do so. I'll thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. I love my laptops. I don't want anything to happen to both of them~ I pray too. *prays*

And now, time for some research work and back-ing up~

If today was included in the Happy Meme...

I received a parcel today~~^^ I feel so happy! 

The end! *laughs*

Thanks Aggie~~!! *hearts*

Fandom

I remember wanting to make a post like this, and now I think I shall write it, since I got inspired by my previous post, as well as an incident yesterday. 

I don't know how to start, so I shall start with the incident? Meizi asked how I can listen to NEWS song almost everyday and not get tired of it or something along that line. I wonder if I thought carefully before answering her yesterday, because I can't think of my reason now. *laughs* By the way, I'm listening to NEWS songs now too. "GAME of LOVE" now. Ok, now I remember what I answered her.

You know about favourite songs? Or probably some songs which you really like very much? Don't you listen to them even probably a few years from now? Or some songs which you really love very much a few years ago, don't you still keep the song in your MP3 and listen to it from time to time till now? So what is happening now is that, I have more than a song which I love, so I'm listening to them all from time to time now.

Then she replied with something along this line, that I listened to NEWS too often which was not considered "from time to time". Probably so, since I listen to NEWS ALMOST EVERYDAY. But I'm someone who can put a song on repeat for hours and days, so probably that's why I can listen to NEWS almost everyday?

I'm off topic, never mind, I shall move on to the topic "fandom". There are probably people out there who are disapproved of fandom, thinking that these are all crazy infactuations and actions probably? I'm not sure. But since I'm in fandom, I'm all out for fandom~ *laughs* And I remember making a comment about Fahrenheit, about how I cannot accept them and also why I'm not their fan. I'm a 56 and NEWS fan by the way~ *laughs*

Fahrenheit said that they would give their best shot during their concert performance, so that their fans could feel that supporting them was all worthwhile. I support this point very much, and I feel that having this kind of thought is good, for an idol. I'm glad that they are working hard for their fans~ Isn't fandom like this? A 2-way relationship. Idols get their love and support from the fans, while the fans get their gratitude from their idols. 

All fans hope to get something in return from their idols I believe, and I do as well, just that the kind of return each fan is hoping for may differ. For me, seeing their improvements is plain happiness and is already enough. Knowing their bonds have grown stronger just further touch me~ So being a fan is probably placing your attention on someone to give yourself more motivation to move on and become a better person?

Actually, I'm losing my trail of thoughts already. So I shall stop here. But I love discussing about how idols sometimes play a big role in your life. So please come and discuss with me if you want to!^^ *laughs*

Year 2009

Year 2008 had passed and here comes 2009~

How is everyone doing?

Wishing everyone a smooth and great year ahead! 
Plus good health and stay happy always! :)

Time to set some resolutions isn't it? I wonder what should I set this year, because obviously I did not keep any of my resolutions last year~ *laughs* Well, I guess I shall write it in 3 forms~^^

To Myself:

• Eat well
• Sleep well
• Stay happy
• Work hard
• Take care

To Friends and Family:

• Respect all
• Listen to all
• Give attention to all
• Care for all
• Treat everyone well
• Don't disappoint anyone

To Idols:

• Stay as a loyal fan
• Be an obedient fan
• Follow up their news weekly
• Do not spend unnecessary money on TV mags
• Support only original goods
• Treasure all my goods

I guess these are all? Not a proper resolution I should say, but at least these are doable~ *laughs* I hope everyone is having a good time now.

I hope that 2009 will be a good year ahead, for myself and for everyone. This year is going to be a hard year because recession has hit us. However, let's not get depressed and strive harder? Let's work hard towards our goals!

Happy 2009!

Best Friend - NEWS

Please listen to the song when reading the lyrics~ To all my friends!

Ｂｅｓｔ　Ｆｒｉｅｎｄ - NEWS

くだらないコトで　盛り上がり

気がつけば朝まで　笑いあった

Kudaranai koto de moriagari

Ki ga tsukeba asa made waraiatta

We'd get all excited over trivial things

And before we'd realise, we'd laughed till morning

大人になったはずなのに　何も変わってないね

Otona ni natta hazu na no ni nani mo kawattenai ne

We're supposed to be adults now, but nothing has changed has it

You are my Best Friend

照れくさいから　ありがとうなんか言えない

特別な場所じゃないけど　ずっとここにいたいんだ

You are my Best Friend

Terekusai kara arigatou nanka ienai

Tokubetsu na basho ja nai kedo zutto koko ni itai n da

You are my Best Friend

It's embarrassing so somehow I can't say "thank you"

It's no special place but I want to always be here

僕らの育った街並みは

あの頃とは違う　姿になったね

Bokura no sodatta machinami wa

Ano goro to wa chigau sugata ni natte ne

The street that we grew up on

Has changed since those days hasn't it

めぐり来る季節超えても　君は変わらないで

Meguri kuru kisetsu koete mo kimi wa kawaranai de

Even as the seasons pass, you musn't change

You are my Best Friend

些細なことで　たまにはケンカもするさ

ぶつけ合った気持ちの数だけ　分かり合える

You are my Best Friend

Sasai na koto de tama ni wa kenka mo suru sa

Butsuke atta kimochi no kazu dake wakariaeru

You are my Best Friend

We occasionally have fights over little things

We understand each other from the feelings we have each time we interact

この先も　声に出すことはないと思うけど

本当は　君といる時が１番　心が温かいよ

Kono saki mo koe ni dasu koto wa nai to omou kedo

Hontou wa kimi to iru toki ga ichiban kokoro ga atatakai yo

Even before, I don't think I've ever said it out loud

But the truth is, when I'm with you my heart feels the warmest

You are my Best Friend

照れくさいから　ありがとうなんか言えない

特別な場所じゃないけど　ここにいたいんだ

You are my Best Friend

Terekusai kara arigatou nanka ienai

Tokubetsu na basho ja nai kedo zutto koko ni itai n da

You are my Best Friend

It's embarrassing so somehow I can't say "thank you"

It's no special place but I want to always be here

You are my Best Friend

どんな時だって　僕たちはひとりじゃないさ

何気ない優しさをくれる　君だけに　ありがとう

You are my Best Friend

Donna toki datte bokutachi wa hitori ja nai sa

Nanigenai yasashisa wo kureru kimi dake ni arigatou

You are my Best Friend

No matter the time, we're never alone

Just to the you that treats me with such casual affection: "thank you"

~ saladesu@LJ

I really love this song! 

It brings tears to my eyes somehow~ *laughs*

And I want to dedicate this song to Yan Xuan who has been friends with me for 12 years already!

Nonetheless, I want to dedicate this song to all my friends out there too!

Thanks for always being there for me when I needed you! *smiles*