Some soul searching

Well, I have not fully cleaned my room yet, which I'm planning to do right after my attachment ended. So I'm going to put full force in cleaning it, starting from MONDAY~ *laughs* And my parcels are coming in batches, probably 6 batches, 2 coming in 2 days time, so more reasons to clean my room. Tomorrow is my usual Japanese day, so I shall let tomorrow free of nothing. (And face a messy room at the end of the day~ -_-||)

Then more soul searching, which is job hunting in fact. Once my room gets cleaned, I have to look for jobs. My ideal starting date was mid March, but suddenly I have the feeling of pushing it to April, in fact, I was thinking, probably after I got my cert? *laughs* Procrastinator~ Well because, if I were to go for the graduation ceremony, I need to have a free day don't I? I'm planning on taking a full time permanent job actually, so taking a leave after commencing job only for a while seems bad isn't it? Well, I hope I get some good job. Shall start job hunting soon! (By the way, I'm actually quitting the thoughts of entering Uni, because of some reasons~)

You know what? I better lead those lives of those millionaires, like how I'm not that educated but Goddess of Luck happen to take a liking of me and I'll open some big companies or something when I get older~ *laughs* AS IF IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN.

*soul searching*

Okay, I am not going to lead those lives so I have to work hard and put in more efforts~ (Honestly speaking, I wish I led those lives, millionaires' lives~) Okay, I'll quit day dreaming.

But most importantly, I'm going to soul search on my biasness, my blatant bianess for Korean related things. In fact, I'm ashamed for disliking almost every single Korean thing. That fish rice from North Point Food Court was probably the only Korean thing I liked. Used to like. Because the serving became so small that it looked miserable. And to be frank, I always get so turned off whenever Mai talks about some Korean stuff she watched or she heard or she whatever. I should feel ashame for that too. Argh, I hate myself somehow now.

I wonder what happened to me. I bet it is those over-exaggeration on how Korean stars and all are too good and I totally get turned off. Or it must be the over-publicising of Korean dramas by Mediacorp. I went Poh Kim that day and happened to see a drama which was aired on Channel U I guess. A doctor drama. I saw how the doctor was trying to save the patient, and he was doing CPR on that patient. But the first thing I thought was, "Code Blue is better.". Then I went on thinking, "Code Blue is so much better. You look so fake. You're killing the person instead. Oh my, this whole show looks so fake. I hate everything of this show.". The end. I totally detest this show in the end.

Then I told Mai, because she told me she was watching Code Blue recently. I was happy of course, but it has come to the stage where I don't force her anything about NEWS anymore. So I merely asked what she thought about Code Blue, and how come she thought Code Blue was nice. So she explained a little, that little in fact. Which I was thinking, "okay, at least it caught your attention finally.". Then she said she watched another Korean drama, which happened to be that Ch U drama I detest. So I asked how was it, and she told me how she was crying to one scene where someone's nose was already injured but had to suffer from some punch by some other doctors. It was a drama about the politics in a hospital by the way. But I don't really care now.

I further got turned off by Mai when she said she listened to Big Bang. Argh. I don't know. I just hated the fact that Mai went over to Korean side somehow. Or probably, I was just feeling lonely.

I have no one to fangirl NEWS anymore. Seriously. No one. When I felt something, I have no one to turn to. Somehow I've become a lonely fangirl. Hahaha.

Although NEWS made me happy, but I have no one to share my joy to, because no one can understand my joy. So why should I tell someone who doesn't even care? I may have online friends, but I can only chat with them only when they are online. Especially my overseas friends whom I can only contact through emails and all. I want to fangirl, but I felt so lonely fangirling to myself and only emails or blogs at times. I want some immediate reactions too. I want to see reactions too.

Probably, I didn't have proper fangirling of NEWS all these whiles. Previously, I probably wasn't fangirling properly, because all I focused was on Pi and his looks or actions or whatsoever. Now I want to properly fangirl on their voices, their interactions and all, but no one to share with.

I don't know. I'm lost now. By what I've typed.

I should just stop here.