I think I really hate it when people pressurize or force me to do thing. I know I'm not going into University and I have to find a stable job but that is not what I wanted. I just have to do it because the situations now tell me to do so. 

I felt so encouraged and relieved yesterday when someone told me getting a job is good and earn money for school fees is good because then I can study with my own money which makes it all worth it and nobody can make me study what they want. That was like the first time I received some form of affirmation and encouragement. Thank you.

I don't know. 

Or I didn't know, I needed that kind of encouragement. Probably I'd never received that kind of positive feedback from anyone before, that's why I didn't know I needed it.

Never mind.

Sorry to have made anyone worried for me with my previous post, the one on death.