non-describable feelings

it had been a long time since i had unstable emotions.. not mood swings, but the ability to control my emotions is not working today.. i wonder was it cuz i didn slp from last night 9pm till now.. first thing, if i didn recall wrongly, when i was during 14 yr-old stage, my emotions were not very stable.. it can fluctuate many times a day, and i cant contain my emotions at all.. although its not much better now.. i still show my emotions on my face, but most of the times it was happiness and all the good things!

so between these 2 days, i really went thru different stages of emotions, the xi, nu ai and le thing.. haha.. i forgot how to say it in japanese ne.. argh.. anyway, needless to say? it was NEWS' my own faults.. i shldn have let NEWS manipulate my emotions and all.. but somehow i cant help it.. well, its a stage of growing mature isnt it? i am so much better now compared to when i first started liking 5566.. i can think more properly even though as a fangirl..

thanks for Mai who was with me(again?!) today when i read the news on NEWS First Taipei Concert, i was able to fangirl properly.. haha.. and fangirling with someone of the same interest makes it so much more fun!! well, there were 2 things that kept staying in my mind.. that was Tegoshi's fall and Yamapi's restlessness.. suddenly i pitied them.. and i totally forgot Yamapi still has to continue with his KUROSAGI shooting when he returns.. i wonder if he can withstand all these?(there will be support from other NEWS members<333 i guess! and definitely fans too!^^) and i had not read anything on the 2nd concert yet.. i'm going to give it a miss and only read it tml.. cuz i'm tired now.. i have to wake up in the morning to go school for a meeting.. again, that competition.. and tegoshi, there were different descriptions on how he fell, but still all descriptions seemed so dangerous.. is he really alright? Take Care Ne! Yamapi and Tegoshi!! my TegoPi!! don get hurt ne! and the rest of the NEWS members, take care too!!

and back to emotions, well, strangely, really.. i cried when i watched that 6 news on NEWS vids.. but the first 3 i watched wasnt much on news.. it was the forth i watched, i cried immediately when i saw Yamapi saying ".... ..... .... se-fu kara.... .... ....".. i wonder what magic was there in that line? safe kara? i know it means "due to safety reasons" something like that.. and that was this morning or last night i guess.. again, i went to baidu and read the posts posted by taiwan fans.. this post made me cry again.. and i don even know the reason.. when i read the first post where it said "i cried", my tears were flowing as well.. it was as if i was at the scene with NEWS and all.. and i cried again when i saw the photo with the whole hall filled with fans.. what is happening to me?

i guess i cant listen to yume wo kazu dake ai ga umareru now.. cuz i know definitely tears will be gathering again.. argh.. i get so moody, all cuz of NEWS? when is all these going to end?? and 12 oct is nearing.. i guess i'll have to do something tml.. but i hate doing that.. pressing someone for something, but then i need it, and its not a small amount.. so.. jus little bit, return me some ne? to tide me thru this at least!! onegaishimasu! and please! *prays again* lastly, frankly, taiwan fans were so fortunate!! they get to listen to weeeek first hand!!! i'm not going to hesitate.. if someone ever uploads it on lj, i'll be dl-ing to listen!! definitely!! zettai!!

well, i think there is nothing else to add on.. and i guess i'll go slp soon ne.. hmmm.. hope NEWS is resting well now in their hotel rooms.. Oyasumi, NEWS!